I get this message almost every week: "Michelle, I'm ready. I'm selling everything and moving to Portugal." (Or Mexico. Or Thailand. Or Costa Rica.)
And my first answer is always the same: I love that for you. Now please don't sell the house yet.
Not because I don't believe in you. I made the leap myself, from Fayetteville, NC to Tirana, Albania, and it's one of the best decisions I've ever made. While I had visited the city with purpose just 4 months before I made the move, I've watched women sell the house, ship the furniture and land in a city that looked perfect on YouTube, only to find out three months in that the humidity, the hills, the healthcare or the loneliness is a dealbreaker. By then, going back is a lot more expensive than a plane ticket.
The fix is simple: test-drive the country before you buy it. Here's how I recommend doing it.
Test driving your location choice means living like a local.
1. Stay long enough for the honeymoon to wear off
A ten-day vacation tells you whether you like a place as a tourist. It tells you almost nothing about whether you'd like living there. For a real test drive, plan on at least four to eight weeks, and ideally a full season. Around week three, the magic fades and real life shows up: the noise from the neighbor's rooster, the line at the bank, the day you can't find the thing you need at the store. That's the version of the country you'll actually be living with.
If you can, go during the season you think you'll hate most. If you can handle burning season in northern Thailand or August in southern Spain, you'll know.
2. Live like a resident, not a tourist
Skip the beach resort. Rent an apartment in a neighborhood where you could actually see yourself living, and spend most of your days doing ordinary things:
Grocery shop at the local market and the supermarket.
Figure out the bus, the songthaew or the ride-hailing app.
Do laundry. Pay a bill. Get a haircut.
Find a coffee shop where they start to recognize you.
Get connected the day you land. A Yesim eSIM gives you data the moment the plane touches down. No hunting for a SIM shop while jet-lagged, and you can keep your home number active for bank texts.
Getting an eSim is the best way to start connecting immediately
3. Test the things that are hard to Google
This is where most people skip ahead, and it's where most moves fall apart. During your trial, deliberately check:
Healthcare: Visit a clinic or hospital for something routine, like a check-up or dental cleaning. How did it feel? Could you communicate? What did it cost?
Getting around: Can you live without a car? If not, rent one for a week and drive the roads you'd actually use. Localrent lets you compare cars from local rental companies.
Community: Go to at least two expat meetups and one local event. Are there women like you there? Could you build a circle? (I wrote more about this in You're Not Alone: Making Your Next Chapter Feel Like Home.)
Your budget: Track every single expense for the full stay. Then add 20% for the things you didn't buy yet.
Your daily rhythm: Walk your neighborhood at 7 a.m. and at 9 p.m. Notice how you feel in both.
4. Try more than one place
Your dream country might be right, but your dream city might not be. If you can, split your trial between two or three spots. Lisbon and Porto feel completely different. So do Chiang Mai and Hua Hin. You'll learn more from comparing than from falling in love with the first place you land.
Short day trips and tours are a great way to scout nearby towns without committing to a second rental. Klook is handy for finding local experiences while you get the lay of the land.
Seeing the surrounding areas to apartments listed online is essential. Test walking the neighborhood.
5. Understand the paperwork before you need it
Use your trial to learn how long you can legally stay, what a longer-term visa would require, and whether you could realistically meet those requirements: income, savings, health insurance, background checks and so on. Talk to people who have done it recently, not five years ago.
And please check the official embassy or immigration website for the country you're considering. Visa rules change quickly, sometimes with very little notice, and what worked for someone last year may not work for you now.
6. Keep your safety net in place
While you're testing, keep your home, or at least a plan for it. Rent it out, have a house-sitter, or keep it as is. Keep your bank accounts, your mailing address and your health coverage sorted. The point of a test drive is that you can hand back the keys if it isn't the one.
If it is the one, you'll go home and sell the house with total confidence instead of crossed fingers. That's a very different feeling.
7. Check in with yourself, honestly
At the end of each week, ask yourself:
Did I feel more like myself here, or less?
What surprised me?
What would I miss most from home, and could I live without it?
Is this place a good fit for this chapter of my life, not just a fun escape?
Write the answers down. Your future self will thank you. And if big feelings come up, that's normal. I wrote about that in More Than a Move: Navigating the Emotional Shifts of Life Abroad.
Take some time to sit alone to process. How does this location feel in your body?
The bottom line
Moving abroad isn't a leap of faith. It should be a leap of clarity. A test drive gives you real information to make one of the biggest decisions of your life, without betting everything on a fantasy.
If you're in the "I think I want to do this, but I don't know where to start" stage, that's exactly what I help with. My Clarity Before Countries program walks you through deciding where, when and how to make your move, step by step, with a small group of women in the same chapter as you. See the cohort and reserve your seat here. Not ready to commit yet? Start with my free CLARITY mini workbook.
Let me help you clarify your next chapter.
Michelle Irwin
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